I am not sure where you are on your journey or why you’ve become a part of mine. What I do know is every human has a story to tell…a past filled with beauty, pain, hopes, suffering and feelings only they can feel. What I do know is you are you. Your past everything along with your heart and soul created the today you. What I do know is our past won’t stay buried forever. In fact as you begin to get quiet with yourself and shut out the noise of all those who are attempting to control your thoughts and emotions (they too are humans learning) you will start to see snapshots of your lifetime that lead you to your here and now.
When you look at the moments from a place of hope and forgiveness…perhaps you will see as I am that while you cannot blame your choices on your past…you clearly see a pattern…reasons. You cannot take a single choice back. You can take ownership of it and ownership of where you’ll travel now. You need to make peace with it all. Don’t hold on to any of it! I’m being real here! Let it fucking go! This is where the road gets rough. They aren’t paved. There are ruts and drop offs. The dust you stir up will make your eyes gritty and the road you ache to travel difficult to see…drive blind if you have to!!! Pull over and take a breath…but don’t stop. Please…please don’t stop…
Frufru words and one liner quotes won’t make you feel stronger? What!? Whoever told you that is a liar. Gentle words and quotes that speak to you on a deeper level…they will have power to help you heal. Don’t stop believing in your power. As I’ve begun to open myself up to new experiences and relationships…because I thought I was ready…because I thought I was on a higher vibration…I swiftly felt the proverbial slap in the face to my reality! There’s no such thing as faking it until you make it with this stuff! Make it!!! Look at yourself and start to know what you deserve, feels right, makes you smile and laugh, makes you dream and hope, makes you feel YOU! Know that you have a purpose. When your own bullshit takes a backseat to your open heart…you will attract the good stuff. The real and meaningful stuff. Humans will come into your life that are so so amazing and see how incredibly beautiful you are! All of you and your broken pieces will be like a glorious light in their life!
It is time to allow yourself to be completely comfortable in you. It is time to shine your light so brightly that the darkest humans cannot touch your fragile soul and take away the pieces of you that matter most. They are longing and seeking and in pain…YOU cannot heal them all…not at the expense of you…I am sorry if this makes you feel anything other than strong. This is your strength. You mustn’t feel guilty or selfish. If someone is taking away your power to stroke theirs…and cannot see the damage they are causing…and you allow it…your light will quickly be extinguished…and you will again be living your life for someone else’s happiness…hug the hurt…then run! You have to love yourself enough to know when your about to get sucked into a place you may not survive…this is hard! These people will slay you with their words…people in pain…they can be cruel as fuck. And they will forget every single good thing you brought to their lives…because they see you walking away and losing light hurts. Do NOT stop walking! Again…you cannot heal anyone if helping them harms you. Go now and get stronger. Remember them…close the door…lock it…don’t throw away the key…just hang it up and know that until you are ready that door needs to stay locked! You may never open it again…but you may…because your healing is happening and when your there perhaps you’ll be able to again shine a light…
So gather up your jewels and put them back where they belong.
Forever with you on your travels,